Squishy, Sticky, Veggie, Love

I don’t know if you actually like vegetables or not.  Oddly enough, most people think they don’t.  Personally, I believe that a love of veggies is in the preparation and selection.  You prepare it wrong, and it might be good for you, but you just aren’t going to like it.

That said… I’m a terrible cook.

It MIGHT be because I treat recipes like suggestions.

Naw.

I am a bit of a trial and error cook.  Partly, it’s because at any given time, I can only find one measuring cup and a teaspoon.  Measuring is for pussies anyway.

So this, so-called, recipe works well for me.  And it doesn’t involve cooking.  I know, right?!

Raw Veggie Spring Rolls

So, go into your fridge, find some veggies that are good raw.  Carrots, beets, cucumber, sprouts, spring greens, lettuce, radishes, whatever.  Anything you can eat raw works.  (I’m using beets, carrots, cucumber and little yellow tomatoes, because that’s what I have.)

Here's my veggies, all ready to be grated.

Here’s my veggies, all ready to be grated.

Take those veggies and do whatever voodoo you need to do (peeling and trimming and whatnot) and then grate them, cut them into matchsticks or otherwise make itty bitty pieces out of them.  If you use a food processor, be really careful you don’t end up with puree.  That wouldn’t work.

Cucumbers aren't really good to grate, but isn't it all pretty?

Cucumbers aren’t really good to grate, but isn’t it all pretty?

Now, you need one special thing.  You need rice wrappers.  You might be able to find them in the Asian cuisine section of your grocery store.  I got mine at Whole Foods.  You don’t want egg roll wrappers, you want rice pancakes.

The wondrous rice thingies.

The wondrous rice thingies.

These suckers are weird and wonderful.  They come out of the package like sheets of plastic.  While dry, they are actually fragile and you can crack them easily.

They are sort of like plastic sheets until you get them wet.  Wonderfully weird.

They are sort of like plastic sheets until you get them wet. Wonderfully weird.

You need a pan big enough to fit a whole rice thingy in and submerge it in water.  I used a clean frying pan.  (Make sure you follow the instructions on the package here, they might be different).  You soak one at a time for just a short time, then you pull it out and CAREFULLY flatten it onto a clean dish towel.  Put a couple tablespoons total of your grated/sliced veggies on and wrap that baby up.  The rice is sticky, which holds it all together.

Just a little bit!

Just a little bit!

Ta-da!  Fresh spring rolls.

Beets might not be the best thing, but they taste so freaking good.

Beets might not be the best thing, but they taste so freaking good.

Apparently you can fry them… but seeing as I am a loser when it comes to frying things, mine ended up looking like a massacre when I was done.  Freaking mess.  And besides, that involves cooking.

The Great Spring Roll Massacre

The Great Spring Roll Massacre

Now that you have your rolls of veggie love, you need something to dip them in.  My favorite is peanut sauce.  It’s easy.  Couldn’t get any easier if you just poured it from the bottle.

Take a good scoop of peanut butter, any kind will do, though I prefer all natural in this instance.  Add some garlic… this is when minced garlic in a jar in your fridge comes in handy.  Get the big one, seriously.  Add just a pinch of sugar, or not.  Sprinkle in some soy sauce.  MIx it up, and here’s the kicker.  Add water.

Stop adding water when you like the consistency.  It’s a bit tricky to get it mixed in, but it will mix, promise.

My peanut sauce.  It's good.

My peanut sauce. It’s good.

And there you have it.  Fresh, tasty, veggie goodness.  Without cooking.  They are fresh and filled with the things you love with a nice chewy outer casing.

On a side note… beets turn everything red.  Just sayin’.

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